I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize