office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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