Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
well you can't waste a boner
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize