On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
