I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
