Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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