so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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