well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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