The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
