I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
