I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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