i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think I sprained my soul last night
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
