great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
