I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
