i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
