If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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