Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize