Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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