I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
