she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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