guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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