The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
