He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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