You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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