Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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