my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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