I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
