whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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