Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?