I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
