I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
