Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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