Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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