How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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