fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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