And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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