maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
