ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
