i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
