i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
