you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
