If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
