what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
