mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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