im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
