Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
