I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i think i have herpe
just one?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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