Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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