i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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