a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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