I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's blow job season.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
