it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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