Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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