i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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