I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
