i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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