his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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