I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
