In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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