What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
